Kids and working out

I haven't posted anything in two months. But it's not because I haven't had anything to talk about. I struggle with this blog. Most of the time, I find it pointless. I'm not exactly sharing wisdom on here for the world to see. Instead, this is the place I go to and vent, to get things off my chest with hopes that it will make me feel better. So far, it hasn't worked.

But anyway, I have plenty of things I need to get off my chest but I don't have the energy, really, to do it here, on this site.

But I do love talking about my kids. They are pretty awesome. Corbin is turning into an interesting little fella. And Devin, well he likes to eat and that bothers me. I don't want him to be fat like his mom.

Speaking of fat, I recently started working out. It's been an interesting 3 weeks but so car, I've done okay.I could be doing better but of course, I could be doing worse too. I find myself slowly starting to feel better too. I'm not really eating all that great yet but I am working towards that.

I have no idea HOW to eat healthy. I grew up eating fried chicken and thinking if I had a vegetable with my chicken, I was eating healthy. I grew up on soda and sweet tea. So I have a lot of work to do on that end. But, I am at least working out now.

I hope that I can get in better shape for my kids. But it took me looking in a mirror, really looking, and deciding that this was something I needed to do and until I wanted to do it for ME, I'd never be successful at it. So, although my kids and my husband are my motivation, I am doing this for myself.

I have felt like crap for probably the past 5 years. I'm sure being overweight has something to do with it. And of course, I can't help but think my horrible pregnancy and Devin being sick could have had something to do with my weight. It kills me to think my unhealthy lifestyle could impact my child forever. The first thing the doctor told me after Devin was born and got sick was that it wasn't my fault. He must have knew what I was thinking. I wonder if he knew I didn't believe him. I've blamed myself ever since. I'm thankful Devin is, for the most part, better.

This past weekend, we took our first vacation with two kids. We had a blast! I enjoyed it, which honestly was surprising. I thought it would be very stressful. But, it wasn't and I'm so glad. But our trip required some endurance because we went to the beach and carrying a 20-pound kid up a sandy hill to the beach is no easy feat. I almost died. BUT I didn't, which means my workout is actually working! Though my legs burned, I wasn't out of breath afterwards. So after only 3 weeks of working out, I could tell it's working. I can't wait to work out. It's not fun but it's something I do knowing it's making me healthier and adding years on to my life. And the longer I live, the longer I can embarrass my kids!