Jennifer's scholarship is finally underway!!!

Well it's finally over. And I have to say, I am exhausted but in a good way. The first fundraiser for Jennifer's scholarship was successful and we raised around $650, which is a great start. I'm still waiting on a few promised checks to roll in so that may bring the total up. 

I admit, things did not go as smoothly as I had hoped but the end result was good. For one, I'm not exactly a leader type. I'm more of a follower than a leader so having to take charge of something is not my cup of tea. Although I tried, I didn't do a good job being a leader and taking charge of things. I wish Allen had been there because he would have helped me out a lot in that department. Things were very unorganized at the beginning but like I said, it all worked out. I'm not a last minute person so all that last minute stuff was really freaking me out. 

But the chicken plates sold out, we got some great comments and things went very well. All in all I'm happy with the support Jennifer's friends and family and especially my family, gave to this cause. I'm such a lucky person to have such a supportive family. Now, it's on to trying to get even more money so we can get the amount needed to actually make this scholarship happen. Lots of fundraising ideas have been thrown around so I'm sure we'll soon be planning for something else. 

In other avenues, Allen finally got a full-time job. I'm so excited for him but on the other hand disappointed it wasn't something he really, really wanted to do. But either way, it'll help us get in a better financial position so he can do what he really wants to do later. The place that laid Allen off in October called him back and he actually started today. He's going to keep his job at Red Lobster for a while so that we can get our debt paid off. His full-time job is in Greenville so that kinda sucks because it's a long drive but hey, it's a job and right now, a job is hard to come by, much less 2 jobs! I'm so proud of everything Allen has done. He has had a rough time over the past few years but I think he's finally getting there and I couldn't be happier. 

One week away

One more week before the bbq chicken sale to raise money for Jennifer's scholarship. 

I met with the lady from ECU yesterday to get the final paperwork done and pick up some more flyers. 

I feel a little better about things today. I think in the end, Jennifer's scholarship will be a success and it won't be because of anything I've done but because of the type of person she was and the impression she left on others. And since that was why I did this scholarship to begin with, I feel good about that. 

I'm still nervous about the chicken sale though. I've never done this type of thing before and am a little nervous about how everything will go. I worry we won't have enough plates then I worry we'll have way too much left over. But in the end, I'm sure everything will work itself out. 

On another note, I should have 3 books waiting for me when I get home tonight. I ordered Nicholas Sparks' new one, Jane Green's latest one and an updated book on the GRE. I've thought about taking the GRE and just seeing what my score is. If UNC ever gets that online master's program, then I'll be ready to apply. If I don't in, I don't get in but I can't keep putting this off because of fear. I'm going to at least try to further my education. If UNC won't let me in, then I'll go somewhere that will. It'll be their loss. 

I'm worried about taking the GRE though. I'm really bad at those type of tests and didn't do so hot on my SAT's so I can't imagine I'll do good on the GRE. But that's what this book will be for, I suppose so maybe I can study that really hard and do okay. 

I may not be posting anything on here again until after the fundraiser so my next post will hopefully be one on how well we did with the chicken plate sale!!!

fear of failure

Well, I'm about two weeks away from the first fundraiser for Jennifer's scholarship. I don't feel ready for it but I suppose I'll have to be. The fundraiser happened so fast and now I'm rushing to try to get everything done with very minimal help. I suppose part of that is my fault since I haven't really asked but I'm not really one to ask for help. But then again, I also don't know really what I even need to do. 

I'm starting to get worried I won't raise the money needed. I don't know why I always feel like this when I get in the midst of things. I have this horrible fear of failure. This is too important for me to screw up. 

My brain is a jumbled mess. I don't know why but I'm having the hardest time concentrating on anything. I come to work and I sit and stare at my computer most of the day and I end up not getting anything done until the very last minute. The same is true with all the personal stuff I have going on in my life. I'm starting to wonder if I need to go see someone and maybe get put on medication. 

Anyway, I'm still excited about the scholarship and being able to honor Jennifer but I haven't had the response I thought I would have. I guess I thought I'd start telling people about it and thousands of dollars would start coming in!!! I guess that's not how it works though. Either way, I'm going to make this a success, if I have to do car washes, donut sales or whatever else.