fear of failure

Well, I'm about two weeks away from the first fundraiser for Jennifer's scholarship. I don't feel ready for it but I suppose I'll have to be. The fundraiser happened so fast and now I'm rushing to try to get everything done with very minimal help. I suppose part of that is my fault since I haven't really asked but I'm not really one to ask for help. But then again, I also don't know really what I even need to do. 

I'm starting to get worried I won't raise the money needed. I don't know why I always feel like this when I get in the midst of things. I have this horrible fear of failure. This is too important for me to screw up. 

My brain is a jumbled mess. I don't know why but I'm having the hardest time concentrating on anything. I come to work and I sit and stare at my computer most of the day and I end up not getting anything done until the very last minute. The same is true with all the personal stuff I have going on in my life. I'm starting to wonder if I need to go see someone and maybe get put on medication. 

Anyway, I'm still excited about the scholarship and being able to honor Jennifer but I haven't had the response I thought I would have. I guess I thought I'd start telling people about it and thousands of dollars would start coming in!!! I guess that's not how it works though. Either way, I'm going to make this a success, if I have to do car washes, donut sales or whatever else.