I am fortunate that I have a job that, for the most part, I love.
My job allows me to do a lot of things I know I wouldn't normally do. I get to attend lots of different events. One event I cover on a regular basis is a flag-raising ceremony for deceased veterans. It's held every month and a new veteran is honored each time. It's really a great thing and I am thankful I get to go to these events and not only take pictures and do stories, but to pay my respects to these veterans.
Sometimes, we forget about the sacrifices these men and women made for us. And each month, I get reminded. I like that.
The last service that was held, I brought Allen and Corbin. I thought Allen would enjoy seeing it. When we left, Allen made a comment about how he regrets not going into the military. That's something he wanted to do when he was younger.
Allen and Jeff, his best friend growing up, planned to enter the military together. I'm not sure what happened. Jeff did go into the military but I think Allen was unable to because of his heart problems. Of course now, Allen's heart is good as new but back then, it wasn't so good.
I must admit, I'm a little glad Allen didn't end up in the military. Being a military spouse has got to be one of the hardest things ever. I'm not sure I could do it. I think I'd go insane. These men and women make such huge sacrifices to do what they do. I think I'm too selfish to give up my husband like that.
I told Allen that it wasn't too late to go into the military but I admit, I was relieved when he said it was too late because he had a family now. But there are a ton of people who have families that enter the military each and everyday.
I can't imagine Allen not being here for Corbin's birth, not being here to see his first few months of life but there are men, and women, who do it everyday. I admire these folks a lot! And I'm glad I can be a part of honoring some of the older veterans who gave up so much to serve our country. I'm also glad I can put each service into words to share with the rest of the community.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
4 months and counting.....
It's hard to believe but my little man is 4 months old! Where has the time gone? And why, as he starts to gain more energy and want to squeal and wiggle and all that fun stuff, am I already thinking of names for the next baby?
Anyway, we're not ready yet by no means so it's just a thought and that's it. But I love having a little baby. It makes me feel important, like I finally have a purpose in this world.
But Corbin is growing so fast, I can't believe it! He's giggling and making all sorts of noises. I swear he even said mama but I doubt he knows what it means so I'm not counting it as his first word. My life has definitely changed but I'm quite happy about the changes. I can't believe that I didn't want kids at first. What was I thinking???
So last week was my week to fast. I made it 3 whole days. That's it. I'm just really stressed out right now and I don't have the willpower but hey, I made it 3 days with no meat or caffeine so I'm proud of myself. And it was a long 3 days.
I plan to do it again when my brain is right. I just wasn't as into it as I should have been so I plan to try again real soon. And next time, I will make it!
In other excitement, we had another fundraiser for Jennifer's scholarship. Bethel had its Unity Festival this weekend and we sold bbq chicken plates. My dad cooked the chicken and it was great, as usual! We only sold 100 plates and we sold out in 2 hours. This year, I was not as into it as usual. There's been so much going on but thank God for my dad. He did a lot of the work this year. And thank God for my family. If it wasn't for them, I'd definitely be in trouble because I wouldn't have any help at all these fundraisers. So prior to this fundraiser we were close to $12,000. Now, after the fundraiser, we are closer to $14,000, actually a little over $14,000. I'm super excited. It's only been 2 years and look how much we've raised! Jennifer would be proud.
We have 3 more years to reach our $25,000 goal and I'm pretty confident we'll surpass it. I'm even more excited about that.
I still miss Jennifer everyday but it does seem to be getting better. Doing this scholarship has helped me grieve in a more productive way. And I think it has done the same for her family. It has allowed us to join together and do something positive to remember Jennifer. And I know Jennifer is looking down on us and smiling.
Anyway, we're not ready yet by no means so it's just a thought and that's it. But I love having a little baby. It makes me feel important, like I finally have a purpose in this world.
But Corbin is growing so fast, I can't believe it! He's giggling and making all sorts of noises. I swear he even said mama but I doubt he knows what it means so I'm not counting it as his first word. My life has definitely changed but I'm quite happy about the changes. I can't believe that I didn't want kids at first. What was I thinking???
So last week was my week to fast. I made it 3 whole days. That's it. I'm just really stressed out right now and I don't have the willpower but hey, I made it 3 days with no meat or caffeine so I'm proud of myself. And it was a long 3 days.
I plan to do it again when my brain is right. I just wasn't as into it as I should have been so I plan to try again real soon. And next time, I will make it!
In other excitement, we had another fundraiser for Jennifer's scholarship. Bethel had its Unity Festival this weekend and we sold bbq chicken plates. My dad cooked the chicken and it was great, as usual! We only sold 100 plates and we sold out in 2 hours. This year, I was not as into it as usual. There's been so much going on but thank God for my dad. He did a lot of the work this year. And thank God for my family. If it wasn't for them, I'd definitely be in trouble because I wouldn't have any help at all these fundraisers. So prior to this fundraiser we were close to $12,000. Now, after the fundraiser, we are closer to $14,000, actually a little over $14,000. I'm super excited. It's only been 2 years and look how much we've raised! Jennifer would be proud.
We have 3 more years to reach our $25,000 goal and I'm pretty confident we'll surpass it. I'm even more excited about that.
I still miss Jennifer everyday but it does seem to be getting better. Doing this scholarship has helped me grieve in a more productive way. And I think it has done the same for her family. It has allowed us to join together and do something positive to remember Jennifer. And I know Jennifer is looking down on us and smiling.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Fasting
My new favorite author is Karen Kingsbury. I started reading her a few weeks ago when someone loaned me her book, 'Like Dandelion Dust.' I liked it so much, I decided to go to the library here and see if they carried her. They do! They had a whole shelf and a half full of her books. So I picked up two that were in a series. I read the first one last week and am reading the second one now. They are "A Time to Dance" and "A Time to Embrace."
I feel like I was led to these books. I'm glad I found this author and I'm glad her books have made such an impact on my thinking.
Allen and I are now mainly listening to a Christian radio station. Every now and then we flip it to another station but for the most part, we are leaving it on that station. It's amazing what surrounding yourself with positive, spiritual music can do for you. Now, reading Karen Kingsbury's books have also had an impact on me.
I've been trying to do better. Allen and I both have. We've been working hard to put God first in our marriage. He is, afterall, the reason we are still married. The positive music and now the Christian reading is really helping me to stay focused.
Anyway, last week, I had this urge to give up drinking anything except water for a whole week. Then meat was added onto that idea. It was like God was telling me that he wanted me to try this idea of fasting for a week. At first, I was like, "what?" and then I started to think, "That's not a bad idea."
First of all, I haven't been able to really hear God talk to me so I feel crazy that I'm thinking He told me this. Second, I'm a Free Will Baptist. We don't fast. I don't know anything about fasting. But I do 100% believe this is something I am supposed to be doing so I'm going for it.
There are several reasons I've decided to try it. The main reason is because I believe God wants me too and I am definitely not going to intentionally go against His wishes. But God has His reasons for everything.
Whether I'm happy, sad, mad or whatever emotion I am, I turn to two things; food and caffeine. It's not a good crutch to use but it's my thing. I am addicted to caffeine and I did good while I was pregnant but I was starting to do bad again. And food, well it's not only meat but nonetheless, I am pretty sure giving up all food for a week would be impossible for someone like me.
God is teaching me. He is trying to show me that when I'm feeling any of those emotions, I should turn to Him instead. Not food, not coffee or Mt. Dew or anything else. Him.
What a great lesson!
Today is Day 1 and I can tell you, it's going to be hard. I'm already thinking hard about a cup of coffee. But I am hopeful God will hold my hand through all of this and help me make it through.
I feel like I was led to these books. I'm glad I found this author and I'm glad her books have made such an impact on my thinking.
Allen and I are now mainly listening to a Christian radio station. Every now and then we flip it to another station but for the most part, we are leaving it on that station. It's amazing what surrounding yourself with positive, spiritual music can do for you. Now, reading Karen Kingsbury's books have also had an impact on me.
I've been trying to do better. Allen and I both have. We've been working hard to put God first in our marriage. He is, afterall, the reason we are still married. The positive music and now the Christian reading is really helping me to stay focused.
Anyway, last week, I had this urge to give up drinking anything except water for a whole week. Then meat was added onto that idea. It was like God was telling me that he wanted me to try this idea of fasting for a week. At first, I was like, "what?" and then I started to think, "That's not a bad idea."
First of all, I haven't been able to really hear God talk to me so I feel crazy that I'm thinking He told me this. Second, I'm a Free Will Baptist. We don't fast. I don't know anything about fasting. But I do 100% believe this is something I am supposed to be doing so I'm going for it.
There are several reasons I've decided to try it. The main reason is because I believe God wants me too and I am definitely not going to intentionally go against His wishes. But God has His reasons for everything.
Whether I'm happy, sad, mad or whatever emotion I am, I turn to two things; food and caffeine. It's not a good crutch to use but it's my thing. I am addicted to caffeine and I did good while I was pregnant but I was starting to do bad again. And food, well it's not only meat but nonetheless, I am pretty sure giving up all food for a week would be impossible for someone like me.
God is teaching me. He is trying to show me that when I'm feeling any of those emotions, I should turn to Him instead. Not food, not coffee or Mt. Dew or anything else. Him.
What a great lesson!
Today is Day 1 and I can tell you, it's going to be hard. I'm already thinking hard about a cup of coffee. But I am hopeful God will hold my hand through all of this and help me make it through.
Friday, September 9, 2011
No water, no money
So last week, my water stopped working. I had gone the day before without taking a shower and had just done the little bird bath thing, doing a quick wash off because I was running behind. So the next morning, I get up and go to turn on the water for the shower. As I'm letting the water heat up, I step out and peek in to look at Corbin, who Allen is feeding in our bedroom. All of a sudden, I don't hear the water running anymore. When I go to check, there's no water.
Allen goes to check and while he's looking, I'm pouring water from a jug into a pot to boil for another bird bath. By then, my hair is quite nasty looking and I could definitely use a good shower. Allen comes back in and tells me he thinks something is just clogged, that he'll try to look at it that day while Corbin is napping.
I get a phone call later that day telling me our water pump is bad. However, he thinks it could just be something that came loose during the earthquake. But he has to dig it up and water pumps are far, far down in the earth. So, 200 feet of water line stuff later, Allen gets the water pump up and we find out it's not just a simply thing that's come unloose. The whole pump is bad. So, we have to buy a new one and they are not cheap.
So we go all weekend without water and I'm freaking out because at this point, we can't really afford an endeavor such as this one. We actually go to Bethel so Allen can do some work for my dad and I take our clothes down and wash them at my grandmas. And, thank God for my dad, because he helped us get a new water pump. Granted, with everything he's helped us with, I'll be owing him money for the rest of my life but nonetheless, Allen got the water pump in, with the help of my dad and Jonathan, my cousin's husband. So, now we have water and it is awesome! And I love my family for being there for me when I need them.
You never realize how much you need water until you can't have it! I now love water and I will drink my fair share for as long as I shall live. And, I promise to shower more too.
Allen goes to check and while he's looking, I'm pouring water from a jug into a pot to boil for another bird bath. By then, my hair is quite nasty looking and I could definitely use a good shower. Allen comes back in and tells me he thinks something is just clogged, that he'll try to look at it that day while Corbin is napping.
I get a phone call later that day telling me our water pump is bad. However, he thinks it could just be something that came loose during the earthquake. But he has to dig it up and water pumps are far, far down in the earth. So, 200 feet of water line stuff later, Allen gets the water pump up and we find out it's not just a simply thing that's come unloose. The whole pump is bad. So, we have to buy a new one and they are not cheap.
So we go all weekend without water and I'm freaking out because at this point, we can't really afford an endeavor such as this one. We actually go to Bethel so Allen can do some work for my dad and I take our clothes down and wash them at my grandmas. And, thank God for my dad, because he helped us get a new water pump. Granted, with everything he's helped us with, I'll be owing him money for the rest of my life but nonetheless, Allen got the water pump in, with the help of my dad and Jonathan, my cousin's husband. So, now we have water and it is awesome! And I love my family for being there for me when I need them.
You never realize how much you need water until you can't have it! I now love water and I will drink my fair share for as long as I shall live. And, I promise to shower more too.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Family
Life just keeps handing me lemons and I'm getting tired of making lemonade.
The past week has been very difficult. There's been one thing after another happening and I'm at the end of my rope.
Through it all, however, there has been some ray of hope; my family. I'd be in deep trouble without them. So even though things are hard and I feel like balling up in a corner and crying, I know that I'll always have them and that makes me feel a little better.
But nonetheless, I am hopeful that things will slowly start to improve and we will eventually adjust to all the changes we are experiencing.
The past week has been very difficult. There's been one thing after another happening and I'm at the end of my rope.
Through it all, however, there has been some ray of hope; my family. I'd be in deep trouble without them. So even though things are hard and I feel like balling up in a corner and crying, I know that I'll always have them and that makes me feel a little better.
But nonetheless, I am hopeful that things will slowly start to improve and we will eventually adjust to all the changes we are experiencing.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Life
So, I've tried to be a more positive person. I wake up everyday and get to see my beautiful little boy and that makes being positive a lot easier but things are just really hard right now. You take on so much as a parent. It gets complicated and scary.
This past week has been one of those weeks where I just needed a mentor, someone to talk to and give me some friendly advice. But I don't really have anyone that I can truly count on or trust for advice. Allen is having the same problem. He needs someone to talk to and he's tried to go to my dad for advice but my dad is just not like that. I've tried to go to him as well and he's just clueless sometimes. So, here we are.
And yeah, I've tried to talk to God and I'm sure He listens and maybe He evens responds but I can't hear him. I just can't. It's like I'm talking to Corbin. He stares at me and coos like he's seriously into what I'm saying but when I'm done talking, he just smiles and stares at me and I have no idea what that means. That's how God is to me right now. He's there and He's listening but I have no idea what He wants me to do.
This past week has been one of those weeks where I just needed a mentor, someone to talk to and give me some friendly advice. But I don't really have anyone that I can truly count on or trust for advice. Allen is having the same problem. He needs someone to talk to and he's tried to go to my dad for advice but my dad is just not like that. I've tried to go to him as well and he's just clueless sometimes. So, here we are.
And yeah, I've tried to talk to God and I'm sure He listens and maybe He evens responds but I can't hear him. I just can't. It's like I'm talking to Corbin. He stares at me and coos like he's seriously into what I'm saying but when I'm done talking, he just smiles and stares at me and I have no idea what that means. That's how God is to me right now. He's there and He's listening but I have no idea what He wants me to do.
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