We're having a what??

So 2010 will definitely be one of those years that goes down in the books. Now, I really do wish I had written the highlights down. 

This news is so big I'm not even sure how to mention it. Or if I should. I mean, it's one of those things you want to tell everyone but then again, if things don't work out and something goes wrong, you don't want everyone to know. But I can't help it. 

I'm pregnant. 

I never thought I'd utter those words. I've always been terrified of saying those words. But here I am, those foreign words coming out of my mouth. 

Pregnant. 

Okay, so it's a big surprise to us. We weren't really trying to have a baby. But we weren't NOT trying either. It was one of those things we had put in God's hands. I guess He felt it was time. 

So I'm around 6 weeks. How do I feel? I'm extremely happy, I'm worried, I'm nervous, I'm honored and proud and I'm sick. Literally sick but they say that's a part of pregnancy. 

This whole sick thing is what clued me in on the whole being pregnant thing. I'd been feeling funny for around a week and then realized I was late. Then, I got sick, throwing up, cold chills, emotional instability, oh yeah and craving apples. Apples?? YES apples. That was when I decided to tell Allen the news. We got a pregnancy test (2 actually) and I woke up on Sunday morning and took it. It was positive. 

Seeing the positive brought in a flood of different emotions. Happy, scared, sad, worried, all sorts of stuff came over me. But most of all, I actually felt happy. We were having a baby. 

And Allen, though he too wasn't really ready for this surprise, I could tell he was happy. He had that little smirk on his face, like "I'm the man, oh yeah." Then I could see the thoughts racing through his head of all the things he couldn't wait to teach this seed of a child that was in me. 

We've talked about it. We don't know how we're going to do this. But who really does? I mean, you are never truly prepared to have a kid.

My main excuse over the years for not having one is that we weren't ready. When I sit down and think about it, I'm not sure we'll ever be "ready." But deep, deep, deep, deep (you get the picture) down inside, I've always wanted to have a baby. Now's my chance. 

So far, I've been really sick and craving fruits and vegetables, which is a good thing I suppose. My stomach has felt extremely weird too, like there is this heavy thing inside of it and it's making my stomach ache a little. I can't explain it. It's a pain that makes me smile because I know that this child inside me is going to make me the happiest mommy in the world.