I have what?

Dang. It's been over two months since I posted on here. But I promise it's not because there hasn't been anything going on. It's more so because I'm too busy, and too tired, to post anything.


I'm not even sure I can remember all that's happened over the past 2 months. But here's a stab at it.....I joined a gym (briefly at least), Corbin beat up his brother, Devin learned to fight back, Corbin got his first karate belt (not for beating up his brother though), Devin started walking, Devin turned one, Thanksgiving came and went, Christmas came and went and here we are.


There's stuff in between as well but I can't remember.

I've had a lot of issues with remembering lately.


Then I noticed I was extremely tired, like more tired than a person should be, even a person with a crazy job and two small kids.


Then I noticed I felt like crap, all the time.


I really didn't think  much of it at first. I thought I had two small kids and I'm overweight so obviously my life is going to exhaust me. I figured I was getting to the burn out point with my job and I was just exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally.


Then, one day around a month ago, I woke up unable to open and close my hands. Every joint in my body hurt. I was a little freaked out. So, I finally made an appointment with the doctor.


I didn't get to see my actual doctor because he's too busy to ya know, meet with people, so I saw a woman who is an FNP. Not sure what that means but she could order tests and prescribe meds so I was cool with that.

I got all sorts of bloodwork done.  At first, everything pointed an autoimmune disease. My publisher has rheumatoid arthritis and she swore to God that's what I had because my symptoms were the same as hers. I've been having problems with my back and hips and legs for a while. I even went to a chiropractor to see if it would help and it did help some. But it would never go away.

Anyway, the doctor lady called me and informed me that my Vitamin D was low (I guess I need more sunshine) and that I had something called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Uhhh huh? That was my reaction.

What in the heck is that? Well,  it's a real "disease." The internet said so! But she briefly explained it and further explained it in person. The bad news is there is no cure or remedy for it. So, I get to spend the rest of my life feeling like crap. YES!

The extreme exhaustion and all that crap can be managed but I have to manage each symptom separately. But, the memory loss, forgetfulness, inability to focus? Well, it happens and there's not much you can do about it. Of course, if your brain isn't exhausted, your memory loss may not be as severe.

I don't know. It's a weird disease I've never heard of and one I'll probably keep to myself because, who is going to take that seriously? You have what?? Chronic fatigue syndrome? OH yeah I have that too. All women with children have that. hahahahahaha

Grrrr. So, this whole thing has stopped me from going to the gym although I do plan to go back. However, I have to take meds to keep my joints from flaring up and hurting again. But the gym seemed to help me feel better so I am making myself go back.

I'm also being put on medication to help with "depression." Bad things happened last time I was on medication for that so I'm not too keen on having to go through that again. But, I also don't like having emotional breakdowns in front of random people at random times. My job also frowns on that. Reporters are supposed to be heartless, you know. So, I am willing to try the medicine and even the therapy to see if they can "fix me."

I have a family and I'd like to be able to be around them and do things with them without feeling like crap. So, I'll try anything, even if it means taking medication and talking to a stranger about my personal life.