Praying for Uncle Dean.

This has been a hard week for me. My uncle is in the hospital in Greenville and I'm in Nashville. 

I know Nashville really isn't that far away but I have a job that is rather demanding and it's hard for me to get away. But more so than that, I'm scared. 

I've never been good at hospitals. I hate going to them. I rarely visit people in the hospital. I just can't do it. When I think of a hospital, I automatically think the worst. It's weird, I know but it's just one of those things. 

But I feel like I should be in Greenville right now seeing my uncle and trying to encourage him to fight to get better, to let him know we aren't ready for him to go just yet. My family is amazing and have all made sure someone has been at the hospital at all times with him. Uncle Dean never married although he's had a girlfriend for like 50 years. So he doesn't really have immediate family. All he has is his siblings and then his nieces and nephews. 

I grew up a skip, hop and a jump from Uncle Dean. He and Uncle Ralph ran the little store beside my grandma's and I always went there with my dad as a kid. All the older men would slip me quarters so I could play the video games there and Uncle Dean and Uncle Ralph would let me get penny candy. When I was old enough to stay by myself, my dad would let me go to the store and charge what I wanted for lunch or snack. Many times, he'd call the store and get them to bring me food. They were just always there. The store closing was a huge milestone because none of us believed they'd ever close it down. Many of us thought they'd die in that store. Sometimes it seems like a part of them did. 

So Uncle Dean being so sick hurts a lot and reminds me of how great a person he is. I know if it is his time to go, then he'll go to a great place but I don't know if the family is ready for another death right now. I hope he pulls through. 

I worry about Uncle Ralph and I worry about my grandma and what this is doing to them right now. I know they feel helpless just like the rest of us. I wish I could take their hurt away. 

So I'm taking my shift for sitting with Uncle Dean on Friday and Sunday. I'm nervous because I don't want to go in there and cry and upset anyone anymore than I already am. But I know that I need to be there for Uncle Dean and for my family. All we can do now is pray.