Life changing

Corbin is now 4 weeks old and what a 4 weeks it has been. Babies sure do change your life. Nothing anyone told me can really, truly describe just how much your life will change when a baby enters it.

I'm slowly adjusting to this new life but it's been hard. I went from not really liking babies to having one in my life 24/7. I've had to get used to a lot of things and I'm slowly learning how to take care of this little being. It's been overwhelming at times, so much so that I find myself holding him and just crying with him because I don't know what to do when he's throwing a fit.

But even more overwhelming is the love I have for this little boy. I knew when he was inside me that I loved him but now that he's here, I feel this super strong love that I can't even describe. It's almost overwhelming it's so strong. I am constantly terrified that something is going to happen to him, that God will decide to take him from us. I would rather die myself than have to experience losing this child. I hope God lets me keep him for a long, long time.

This baby has also made me fall in love all over again with Allen. I can't even explain it but it's true. Maybe it's how supportive and awesome he was in the hospital or maybe it's how great he's been helping me get back on my feet but whatever it is, I am so thankful to have him in my life. We made something pretty dag-on wonderful and we are so blessed.

Things are overwhelming now but I wouldn't trade it for anything.