Yes I Am

Well, the past month has been strange. Here's why.

I've spent many of my days with my head in a toilet, barfing my brains out.

In mid-April, I got some sort of virus. I think it was the norovirus but I was sick as a dog. I passed on my sickness to both Corbin and Allen. There's only lasted a few hours. Mine lasted a whole stinking week. I just figured that I had a worse case of the virus. A few weeks later, I was still feeling like crap. I thought this virus was kicking my butt. Then, at Relay for Life, I got sick again and that weekend, I started throwing up. And, I wanted a pickle.

Allen immediately went to the store and though he didn't get me any pickles, he did pick up a pregnancy test. I took both of them. They both said that I was, in fact, pregnant.

I'll be honest. I was freaking out about it this time. Allen was too.

It's funny because as soon as Corbin was born, I wanted another one. But the reality of it was that we couldn't handle another one. We finally agreed that we would be okay with being pregnant when Corbin was two. So we had some time to plan things. But things don't apparently go as planned in my life!

I'm still freaking out a little. Two babies! Two kids in my house at one time, all the time...oh yeah, plus Allen. And, two chickens, two dogs and too many cats. I'm going to have a zoo.

In between freaking out, I felt guilty. I felt guilty because I know so many people that want to see those two little lines on that test so bad. They are trying and praying to have a kid and here I am, blinking my eyes and getting pregnant.

There was a time in my life I thought I'd never have a kid. When I was 29, I found out my mom and my grandmother had to have hysterectomy's before they were 30 because they had uterine cancer. Because of that, I am a high risk. My doctor pretty much told me if I wanted kids, I better get on it now. And Allen, well Allen was told he probably would never have kids because of so many karate injuries. So for us to have not one but two kids is a blessing so big I can't even describe it.

We just started telling people. It's been interesting and right now, it's hard to tell how people feel about it. But I don't care what other people think because I'm happy about it and that's all that really matters.

But in December of this year, my house will have another crying baby in it. I'm excited and terrified all at the same time. But most of all, I'm really thankful because I don't deserve such a wonderful blessing.