Too much

The last 2 weeks have been just crazy. There have been a least a dozen times I've thought I lost my mind. I have no patience right now and Corbin is absolutely driving me crazy. So is Allen. Actually, so is everything. I feel like I'm on the border of a mental breakdown. That, of course, is why I'm here, to get it all out and see if I feel better.

I am in desperate need of a friend, someone to just talk to, to vent to, to cry with. If I can't do that, then I'd at least like to hit something or maybe even shoot something. I'm sure that would make me feel better.

I don't know what's going on. I'm guessing it's stress. There's a lot on my plate right now and I'm at the freak out level.

First of all, I have about 4 weeks to go before I have this baby. We still have no crib, no double stroller, no diapers, no formula, nothing really. All we have are clothes and that's really because they are Corbin's hand-me-downs. The house isn't ready either. The baby room, or playroom, or whatever it's supposed to be is still not even close to finished. The living room isn't finished yet. Heck, the bathroom, which was started on MONTHS ago, is still not even finished. And, Christmas is coming and because I'll be out of commission for any crazy holiday shopping, I have to get all that done early, which has never in the history of mankind, ever happened. So I have to get Christmas done prior to the baby as well.

We also are still rolling around with one car. I'm blessed to have our one car but we really need to get this whole car situation straightened out. So we have to find a second car before the baby comes

And then there's work.

Typically, you get maternity leave. But I work for a newspaper and newspapers are strange little creatures. I get maternity leave but prior to going on it, I have to still have some stories stockpiled in a pretty little folder so the paper can still publish. And I can almost 100% guarantee, I won't get my full maternity leave so I'll end up coming back early.

On top of that, my boss discovered she has to have surgery. It's a very necessary surgery and she has to have ASAP. Her date is December 12. Mine is December 21. Each week that this newspaper comes out, there are two people who actually do the layout of the newspaper. It's me and her. And our time out will definitely overlap at some point. So, who's supposed to put out the newspaper? Umm, good question!

We are in freak out mode over here at the newspaper. But it'll all get done, somehow. One of us will have to disobey our doctor's orders and get back in the office early. I bet we both will. We are both crazy and have both somehow, made this newspaper our life existence. Besides, I can't really stand the thought of someone else sitting at my desk doing my job.

I also have to figure out how my family will survive after this baby comes. Health insurance is a wonderful thing but it's a very expensive thing. When I added Corbin to my policy, my insurance went up drastically. Adding another kid is going to make it worse and there's a chance I'll get a crappy paycheck after all that fun stuff is taken out. Since I am the financial provider for our family, that's not going to fare well and it's up to me to figure that out too. And I can't get a second job. This newspaper thing doesn't really cooperate well with second jobs. I've tried.

So anyway, I suppose this is all my cross to bear, as they say, and I'm not bearing it too well right now.