School

Corbin is officially in school!

It's bittersweet, really. I'm so excited that he's going to a place he can be around other kids and gain a little bit of knowledge, other than what his daddy is teaching him at home. Allen has done a great job prepping him for school though. He already semi knows some numbers and colors but now, he'll be able to learn a little more independence and he needs that badly.

I was all excited about school. I was so ready, until the day got here.

Last week was the worst week I've had in a while. My emotional state of mind was off the charts. If you can test craziness, I would have failed last week. I was, and sorta still am, an emotional blubber of mess right now. Corbin going to school has broken my heart. It means he's growing up and I don't know when all that happened.

I'm proud of him though. The first two days of school were rough. Allen and I both took him the first two days and we walked him to class. He screamed his little head off, to the point, he had me in hysterical tears. The first day, Allen had to practically drag me out of the school. The second day, I refused to walk him IN the classroom. Instead, I stood outside and let Allen walk him in. As Allen left, I could hear Corbin's screams and again, I fell into a fit of crying myself. I don't know what the heck is wrong with me!

The third day, which was the second week (he only goes twice a week), Allen and I both took him but we didn't walk him in. Instead, we dropped him off at the door, as requested, and his teacher came and walked him to class. That went a lot better. Corbin reached his little hand out and grabbed mine and started screaming "mama!!!!" and of course, that sent me into tears as we drove away. Just for the record, Corbin hasn't seen me cry. I've been able to contain myself until after he's gone. Lord knows how hard it would be for him if he saw me crying!

The third day when we picked him up, the teacher said he did much better. He only cried a few seconds and was better.

On the fourth day, I took Corbin to school all by myself. I dropped him off at the door and the teacher came and took him out of the van. He gave me a high five goodbye and as he got to the door, he turned around and waved and said bye! Of course, that too, sent me into tears and as I drove off, I started thinking how much easier it was this time around (for Corbin anyway).

The difference, I believe, is that the last time, Corbin left ME. I didn't leave HIM. So in his little mind, he's all mr. big boy saying bye to me instead of me taking him somewhere and dumping him. Not that significant of a difference really but to him, it is.

So ain't that something!

Anyway, I'm thinking in another week or so, I'll be able to drop him off without me crying! I hope so at least. In the meantime, I am going to have to go on some type of medication to get me through this milestone.