How do you speak to someone about God when you have questions and doubts of your own? 

It's a question I've been asking myself over and over again for the past several months. Still, I have no answer. 

I believe in God. I believe there is this larger power that is in control of our lives. And I also believe there's a darker power that fights with that larger power. A good and an evil if you will. But when your life is full of one bad thing after another, it's hard to have faith in that larger power. Sometimes, I feel like God doesn't care about me or my family. And though I still believe, I don't feel like I am one that can try to talk to my husband about God. 

He's struggled with his faith for years. But lately, I can tell he believes there isn't a God. And if there he one, Allen isn't into Him. It hurts me to see him like that because the little bit of faith is all that's keeping me here. I worry what his lack of faith is doing to his soul. 

He has become the most hateful person I know. Everything bad that's happened in our lives has taken its toll on him and the once sweet, honest man I married is now different. 

I still love him and I always will. I know the real Allen. And he's not different towards me really. He still treats me very well and I know he loves me but I can't stand his attitude toward life anymore. And it hurts not knowing where to turn. I keep trying to push him in the direction of God. I've tried to find someone for him to talk to about things but I don't know if he will. But I don't think our lives will get better until he, until we both, find our faith again.