Happy Birthday Jen

It's Wednesday night, June 17, and I'm home alone. Allen is off in Wilmington, well Myrtle Beach, for some quality time with his dad. It's much needed time but I admit, I miss him and of course, am a little jealous of his beach trip. I need a beach trip soooo bad!!! We have one planned for August but that seems so long away. I don't know if I can make it that long.



Tomorrow, June 18, would have been Jennifer's 29th birthday. I can only imagine the fun we would have had if she were alive today. Jennifer loved parties. I debated for weeks what I was going to do on her birthday. I couldn't decide whether to take off work and do something to celebrate her birthday or just go to work and pretend it's just another day. I still haven't really decided but I didn't take off work so I suppose I have to go in tomorrow although I may get off early.



I've been growing my hair out for over a year now to donate to Locks of Love. Just before Jennifer did, she donated her hair, so I started to grow mine out as well. I wanted to give my hair too. You have to get your cut. You may as well let it grow a few extra inches and give it to someone who needs it. Initially, I was gonna get it cut on the anniversary of her death, which was in March but my hair wasn't quite long enough. However, now, I think it is so I'll be donating 10-11 inches at some point. I'm hoping I can get motivated to do it tomorrow so that way it can be something to remember Jennifer's birthday.



I've felt a little down tonight for some reason. I don't know if it's just because I'm all alone and my tv is not working or if it's because Allen is gone and I miss him or if maybe it's because tomorrow is Jennifer's birthday. Though I am doing a lot better, I still miss her everyday. And at times when I'm home alone and have no one to call and talk to, I realize that I truly am alone. Jennifer really was the one person I could ALWAYS count on. Even if I called her bored and we didn't go anywhere, we'd sit and talk about where we COULD go for like 2 hours. Then by the time we decided, it was too late to actually go anywhere.



One night, Allen and her husband, Jeff, went out to dinner. I guess they needed some guy time. So right after they left Jennifer calld me, or maybe I called her, I can't remember. But we talked for like 30 minutes and then began to discuss whether we should do something too. So for another 30 minutes we talked about that. Then we hung up to call the boys to see where they were. They said they were just going to eat and they were eating just a few minutes from home, so we figured they'd be back soon and we didn't want to go out as they were coming home. They didn't answer their phone so we called each other again and talked for another hour or two about what we could do. Then of course, the boys came home. Duh. That's how we were.



The first year that I began working at the newspaper here, I still lived in Bethel and had to drive an hour or so back and forth every day. On the nights I worked late, it really wore me out and to help me stay awake on the way home, I usually called Allen or Jennifer. Just a few months after I started, I was on the way to work one Tuesday morning and it was pouring down rain. I got in an accident on Highway 64 and scared the crap out of myself. From then on, I was terrified of driving in the rain. So when it rained and I had to drive home, I'd drive like 35 miles per hour on Highway 64, crying the whole way. One night, it was late and I was driving home. I called Jennifer that night and we were talking when it started to rain. So I slowed down and started freaking out. I pulled over in Tarboro at Bojangles and was irritated at myself for being such a baby. Jennifer kept saying she'd come pick me up if I wanted. I eventually made it home myself but it meant a lot to me that she asked. It's those little stupid things that I really miss about Jennifer. She was a good friend and I don't have any other close friends like that

Anyway, I know if she were here, we'd probably be on the phone right now since Allen isn't here. And this weekend, we probably would have celebrated her birthday with a big shin dig at her house. She'd make that awesome rum punch that she always made, we'd put some Kenny Chesney on and watch the dumbest movies you can find. Then we'd have to sit for two hours while her and Allen laughed like idiots while the rest of us just sat there staring at them. They thought the dumbest things were funny.

I miss that girl so much. And if she were here, I'd tell her how much her friendship meant to me. And I'd throw in a Happy Birthday as well.