I just realized that my birthday is one month and one day away, which means in one month and one day, I will be one year away from turning the big 3-0. In thinking of that, I feel like I have wasted the last 10 years of my life. I wish I had done more, made more friends, went more places. I wish I hadn't worried so much about things that are out of my control. But unfortunately, you can't turn 30 and then decide you didn't your live the way you wanted and back it up 10 years and do it again. But wouldn't that be awesome?!?
In retrospect, I thought I'd have kids by now, live in that perfect house with the white picket fence and just be the measure of success. I have and am none of those things. So what do I have?
Well I do have a husband but no kids although we have two dogs that we love just as much as we could any child. We certainly don't have a perfect house but we do have a house that we can call our own. It's not a mansion and it still needs a lot of work but it's ours and we love it. As for the measure of success, well I guess that depends on who ask the definition of that. I love my job. It's a great job for me and it's made me such a better person. But I am not rich with this job and I probably never will be. I wish it was a little more stable financially but it's a good job. So though I don't have all the stuff I thought I'd have by now, I consider myself lucky. Sometimes I have to sit down and write things like this out just to realize how lucky I am.
I have a great husband, someone that would give me the world if he could. He's not perfect by any means but he's probably the best person in the world for me. He puts up with me and that is no easy feat.
So even though my life isn't exactly what I imagined it to be at this age, it certainly could be worse and I do feel fortunate. I just wish I had done more with my life and I guess, I still can. There's nothing that says life ends at 30, is there??
No comments:
Post a Comment