Goodbye Uncle Dean

So the bitter truth is Uncle Dean is gone. He's still alive but Uncle Dean as we know him is gone. He left us about a week ago.

It's really sad because he was doing so well and we all thought he was on the verge of recovering and coming back home but then he took a turn for the worst. It's hard not to question it but I guess we all have to trust in God and believe that He knows what He is doing. 

Today, the feeding tube will be pulled. Eventually, Uncle Dean will pass away and go straight to Heaven, where there is no doubt he belongs. He was a great man and as much as I hoped he would recover, I'm happy knowing he will be in a better and won't have to tolerate doctors poking and prodding him anymore. But I'm going to miss him. 

It bothers me to think Uncle Dean could starve to death. It kills me to think he could suffer. I just pray that he passes away peacefully and without pain. 

Yesterday, Allen and I went to Hickory Grove. When I walked into church, I saw this strange man walking around passing out bulletins. That's when it hit me. Uncle Dean was gone. It had become so common to walk in those doors and see Uncle Dean's smiling face greeting people and passing out bulletins, I didn't even think about the fact he wasn't doing it anymore. But then I saw this strange man and it just tore me up. Uncle Dean would never be that person again. I know my hormones are all messed up right now but I cried really hard and I had to walk outside. I didn't want to upset Mama Ruth. 

Mama Ruth. I worry so much about her. I worry about Uncle Ralph and Aunt Louise too. They all lived so close and were so close to each other, not only in distance but in their hearts as well. They took care of each other. I pray that God will reach down and put his hands on their hearts and just take away all their pain and suffering. It's going to be a hard road for them, for all of Uncle Dean's family. He was such a great man. 

The first time I went to see him at the hospital, I told him I was pregnant. I had really just started telling people and I didn't know if he knew yet so I told him. He was sitting in a chair and he had been talking some so I felt it was a good time. After I told him, he just sat there a minute and then he said, "What does your dad think about it?" I'm glad I got to tell him the news. I wish he could be here to see the baby but I know he'll see it from a far better place. 

Uncle Dean has always been good to me and my family. I know he was just as good to lots of others. I pray for peace for all my family during this difficult time. 

Goodbye Uncle Dean. You were loved and will be greatly missed.