Freaking out and stuff

Eh, I don't know what to say anymore. It seems like it's the same old mess; we're running out of time, the baby's room still isn't finished, we still have a ton of mess to do and yes, I am still feeling emotionally overwhelmed.

I thought I was married to a man who really understood women. I mean, Allen has four sisters and those four sisters have like 11 kids between them so he's been around not only women, but pregnant women. And throughout this whole process, he sure seems to act like he knows everything about being pregnant. But I suppose he's finding out that it's different when it's your wife going through it.

For the most part, Allen has been great. He's been to EVERY, single doctor's appointment with me and I haven't had to make him. He's wanted to. He wanted to be a part or registering for baby stuff, he's wanted to help pick the room colors out and help pick the crib out and all that. Most men don't care. So I know I'm lucky on that because it helps to know that we are in this together. But there are some things Allen just doesn't get.

He doesn't get the whole needy, pregnant wife thing. He doesn't understand that pointing out to me how fat certain body parts have gotten does not make me happy. I don't like it being pointed out that my ankles are gigantic. I already know! They are my ankles!!! I know my stomach is growing! I'd prefer if he rubbed my belly and say something like, "Man, our little boy sure is growing now!" But instead he says "Man you're getting huge!!!!"

And he obviously doesn't get the part of pregnancy where women want to nest. I read about nesting but quite frankly I didn't believe it....until I started getting that itch.

And that, my friends, is why this whole room not being done business is driving me crazy. Tonight, I want to go home and go in Corbin's FINISHED room and go through all his stuff and put it where it needs to go. I want to sort his clothes and make sure the room is babyproof. I want to sit in the rocking chair that we don't have yet and think and just take it all in. But I can't do any of these things.

I tried to turn my obsession, er, I mean my nesting, over to something else and I began to look for a car. That way, I could at least put the baby's car seat in it and feel like I was doing something. But the car thing isn't going to work. We can't afford another car right now, not on my salary. I don't know what we're going to do about it but I suppose we'll get by on what we have for now.

Aside from that, everyone keeps telling me I won't make it to my due date and I'll go early. That is freaking me out. FREAKING. ME. OUT.

I don't want to go early! We aren't ready. I am not ready so Corbin cannot be ready! He can't come early. He just can't and I wish everyone would just shut up and leave me alone. I don't need to be freaked out anymore than I already am. So there.