Roller Coasters

I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster right now. I get really, really happy and then all of a sudden, I feel like I'm going to cry. Then I feel like slapping myself for being so stupid. Sometimes I think Corbin senses this because he will give me a swift kick in the gut.

I love to feel Corbin kick me. But lately, he hasn't been doing as much moving around and kicking as he usually does. Or maybe he is and I'm just somehow missing it?? It's really freaking me out. Sometimes, I think he does it on purpose.

For example, recently, I worked a long day and I got home that night and ate dinner and sat on the couch and Allen asked if I had felt Corbin much. I told him I hadn't really felt him much. So a few hours later, he asked again and I told him I still hadn't really felt him. That apparently bothered Allen too because he went and got the stethoscope and started trying to listen to Corbin. He couldn't tell if he could hear anything and I could tell he was started to get worried too when all of a sudden Corbin kicked the stethoscope, like DADDY I'M HERE CHILL OUT! It was funny and relieving all the same time. Just when I start to really freak out, he'll move or kick or something.

I just wish he moved more because it makes me happy. It lets me know he's in there and that is the best feeling ever. Hopefully, as the weeks go on, he'll move more.

But back to the roller coaster of emotions I am apparently riding. It's getting on my nerves. I wish I wasn't one of those people that worried so much. I don't want to worry. I just want to sit back and enjoy this moment because it's one of those moments you'll never get back. I guess this whole emotional weirdness is normal but it's hard to go through because you just need someone to walk up to you and give you a giant hug. But really, if someone did that, I'd probably not enjoy it because I'm not a touchy feely person. Unless it's Allen. He can hug me. Maybe that's what I need, a giant hug from my husband.