Words

I wonder if I'll ever be able to write again. I don't mean write stuff for the newspaper though that has become a constant battle, I mean write like I used to. I used to write poems and songs and short stories and all that stuff and though I never proclaimed it to be great, it was a way to get things off my heart. Writing is my therapy and somehow, the writing I do now isn't the same type of therapy.

I find myself needing that therapy a lot lately but I can't seem to put my feelings into words.

Having a baby is scary. It makes you think about your past, your present and your future. It brings all these weird emotions up to the surface and things that normally would be just something to think about once and forget becomes something you constantly worry about.

I feel this strange urge to write but when I sit down to do it, nothing comes out. I want to write about this whole pregnancy experience, the way it's changed me and made me feel. But truly there are no words to put on paper that can accurately describe it. But if something were to happen to me and Corbin didn't get a chance to know me, I'd like for him to know the feeling he's given me over the past 7 months. And right now, even though he's not even in this world, I know that I love him more than I've ever loved anything else. I just wish I could find the right words to share with him.