Yuck to August

Well it's August and I am not happy. Time is flying by too quick and I'm getting too old! Next week, I will be 31!!! Yuck.

I have been back to work for almost 4 weeks now and I'm finally getting back into the swing of things. Allen and I are learning how to share our new roles as mommy and daddy. And I'm learning not to cry every morning because I have to go to work and leave my little boy home. I'm always scared I'm going to miss something. It upsets me to think I'm missing him discovering things, like smiling and laughing and that he has hands. I worry I will miss something important and because Allen is a man, he will forget to tell me or take a picture or a video or something. Men see things differently and though I know he loves it when Corbin smiles or does something cute, he doesn't understand why I want to see it too, why I want him to capture that moment! So I end up missing it and having to try and capture it again for myself.

Anyway, I'm learning to deal and trying to enjoy the time I do have with Corbin. Some nights, all I'll have is bedtime but I'll learn to enjoy it and make the most of it. I am hopeful that one day, when I come home from work, Corbin will look up at me and smile and I'll be able to feel that he has missed me and is glad to see me home. I know that then, all this will get easier.

But back to the whole 31 thing, I have absolutely no plans to celebrate that horrendous occasion. In fact, it's on a Tuesday and that's when we put the paper out so I'll be quite busy that day and Allen will be working that night so that will make it a lot easier to forget. Yep, I plan to be a Grinch this birthday because maybe, just maybe, that will make 31 go away!