Still miss you, Jen

Jesus Christ, I miss Jennifer. I miss her so much. I wish I could find her in her little heavenly place and slap the hell out of her for leaving us so soon.

It's been six years. Six depressing years without my best friend. Seriously, I never knew how much I depended on Jennifer until she was gone. But, that's how life is I guess.

Today, we should be texting each other the hilarious things our kids have done and calling each other to fuss about the stupid things our husbands did. I should be teaching Corbin all about the art of bullying so that he could bully Jennifer's kids, to pay her back for all the years she was so freaking mean to me!

It's been over six years since I've been able to make a fart joke and have someone to laugh about it like it's the funniest thing in the world. It's been over six years since I've been to a friend's house and just cooked out on the grill and hung out. Really, it has. I don't have anyone else that I do that with. It was just Jennifer.

Life has gone on and I set out on a mission to heal Jennifer's family as well as myself with a scholarship in her honor. The scholarship is done. We raised around $27,000 in like 4 years. The first scholarship will be given out in the Fall. I'm proud of what we did. But, now it's over and I have no idea what to do now. I'm not healed. I do feel Jennifer's family is more at peace now and that gives me comfort but I still miss her so much.

My kids will never know their Aunt Jen. And even though I'll tell them about her, they will never understand the significance of our friendship.

Last July, I lost my buddy Domino. He passed away and broke my heart. I miss him too. Jennifer and him had this strange bond. She was the only one, other than Allen, that believed Domino could talk. She would help me feed him when I went out of town and she swore he would say, "where's my momma." Domino also called Allen an "asshole." No joke. It was seriously funny. Other than me, Jennifer was really the only one Domino would allow to mess with him. He'd jump up in her lap and sit. It's hard to explain how miraculous that is but Domino was my cat and he loved his momma and every now and then, he loved his daddy (even though he called him ugly names).

I'm pretty convinced there's not a movie called "All Cats Go To Heaven" because there is no heaven for cats. Cats go straight to hell! Mean ole things! But I like to think that Jennifer put a stop to Domino going to hell and instead, snatched him up and begged God to let him stay with her. So now, every day, I bet Domino sits in Jennifer's lap and sleeps.

That does bring me comfort but it doesn't make me miss Jennifer any less.